Visitor...VISITOR!

Its been a minute since I've been on this beloved blog of mine. The other one is on hold but will pick back up when I feel that my mind is settled in enough.

Anywho... Lots of changes! We got all moved into the new apartment and its beautiful. For me, it feels like home. Its comfortable, clean, mold-free, and we have space! As for work, Ruth still isn't back and I'm sure at one point or another the girls have wanted to impeach me, but such is life. Things are still running, the department is still standing, and things will be fine.

I can't help but hear the voice of the little mouse in Cinderella when I think of having a visitor. "Visitor, VISITOR!"... Chris's mom came to visit with us this weekend! I'm so happy she's here. Its nice having family around. She isn't my mom but still, its nice! At the moment, Chris is teaching her to play Super Mario Bros on the SNES. Its quite entertaining, to say the least. I picked her up from the airport this morning and she and I spent most of the day shopping at Walmart and napping on the couches while watching a couple movies. I introduced her to both The First Wives Club and Tangled. After Chris got off work at 6:30, we went to Red Robin for supper. Tomorrow, when I get off work we will be heading up to the mall to do some shopping and have some hang out time. I feel bad that she will be at the apartment by herself most of the next couple days but we couldn't take off work on such short notice. :(

In the World of Warcraft, things have gotten stale. The guild is dwindling and there are a few of us that are looking to move to a different server. One not so concerned with the raiding aspect of the game. If we are able to take the guild with us with a transfer service Blizzard is suppose to be working on, I think it will be a good move. However, my feeling of a part of me being over WoW as a whole is still there. I'd like to think that I have better things to do with my time and money than to sit in front of a computer playing with fictional characters all day but who knows.

I miss my mommy... and my mamaw... and my daddy... and my best friend... and my puppy... and... yeah. :(

Hot Summer Nights...

Sometimes I miss Ohio more than others... this week has been trying to not cry over missing my dad and the state I grew up in. I'm still happy with where I am, but I'm homesick and not too proud to admit it.

I'm an Auntie!

Jackson Thomas Lockhart graced the world with his presence on July 6, 2011. 7 pounds 9 ounces and 21.5 inches long. Huge congrats to Ti and Jeremy!!

So many things...

When I look back on my life, I want to be able to say that I experienced it, lived it, not just lived in it. I want my children to be fearless... I want my husband to be passionate.. and I want me to be the kind of mother and grandmother that I grew up with. But most of all, I want what God made me to be.
I say that so often... that I want to be where He would have me and doing what He made me for. But a part of me is reluctant to let go and let God. I know it would be better... but I'm human. I want things to go my way. They hardly seem to, but eventually the end goal brings itself around.
I look at my life now and a part of me smiles while a part of me cries. I'm living in Oregon, 2400 miles from the majority of my family while sharing my life with the man I know beyond a shadow of a doubt God made for me. While a part of my mind screams at me that I should be back in Ohio with my Moma and Mamaw, the other part rejoices because I'm doing this. As much as it rains, it is a beautiful state with so much to see and do and experience. Yet for some reason we let money hold us back. The coast is an hour away.. just an hour. Yet we haven't been because of gas... and time. The mountains.. the parks... the wineries. I have been here almost a year and haven't seen any of those things. I know that the time will come that I get to, and that I just have to be patient... there's that word. Patience. Grr... But still... it will happen. *deep breath*

I feel drawn to write... a need to write... and it doesn't come out. I was listening to a Beyonce song... and it made me want to say those words in earnest. "I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time... I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here, I did, I've done..."

Info!

We found out today... that Chris's grandma is fine when it comes to flying! That means we can have the wedding in Ohio!!!!

Eventually...

I will be smaller...
I won't get so frustrated at work...
I will feel like I get to experience the world around me and not just live in it...
I will no longer have Ellis in my name...
I will quit worrying about that which I have no control over...
I will realize how others view me and see that it is different than how I view myself...
I will learn to love as God loves and see as He sees...

Eventually...

Slight Changes

So... due to recent discussions, Chris and I won't be getting married when Mom comes to visit. He would like to be more financially stable before we take on that endeavor and I can do nothing but support him in his decision. I refuse to rush him into something that he isn't ready for. So I will once again play the waiting game. It's worth it, I know. I just sometimes feel that I'm destined to have "Patience" as a middle name. I already have two of them, whats one more? I know God has a reason for all the things that happen, and that His plan and His timing are always perfect. And I know that there is something that I'm suppose to learn from all this waiting. Lord, please help to me to see what it is You have for me to learn. I know he loves me, and I know it will happen some day. And when it does, it will be perfect.

In other news, I have 3 days left working at the courtesy desk, then I will be off Saturday and Sunday, and then Monday I will be at work at 7am as Jewelry Coordinator. I'm both nervous and excited. It will be entirely different than anything I have ever done. I just pray that I will have the ability to do what I need to do in order to both perform my job and to attempt to bring peace into the department. There is a ton of drama, from what I've been told, that happens back there. I will have to make sure that I don't get sucked into it. I will have people under me for the first time really. When I worked at Hallmark, I was a keyholder, but that was just making sure that breaks were taken on time and that the drawers were counted and such. But this will be completely different... I know I've been put there for a reason, I just pray that I will be able to have the strength through God to do it.