Driving home tonight after working my 8 hour shift, my mind began to wonder slightly to the "what ifs" as it does from time to time. "What if I had stayed at home? Did I really do the right thing by moving here? It's so far away from my family... I mean I know I'm happy here, and I'm less stressed than I was but...." And about that 'but' I looked straight out of my windshield and something caught my eye... Orion.
I couldn't help but smile. For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed being able to find the stars in the winter that mark Orion's Belt. In many ways it has comforted me in the past, knowing that no matter where I am, I can find it and know just where it falls in the sky at the house. Tonight was one of those nights.. the reminder that I needed. That no matter how far I travel, where ever I choose to roam, God is a big God and He knows my heart and my desires. He holds my family in His hands just as he holds me. And that no matter how far I am, its never too far.
I couldn't help but smile. For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed being able to find the stars in the winter that mark Orion's Belt. In many ways it has comforted me in the past, knowing that no matter where I am, I can find it and know just where it falls in the sky at the house. Tonight was one of those nights.. the reminder that I needed. That no matter how far I travel, where ever I choose to roam, God is a big God and He knows my heart and my desires. He holds my family in His hands just as he holds me. And that no matter how far I am, its never too far. As I sit here and type this, my eyes are slightly misty and I should really be asleep... but I just can't seem to get there. No, my heart isn't heavy, and my mind isn't going a million miles a hour for once. (Shocker there, I know). Day after day I feel more at peace with things, with myself. And day after day, I find myself better able to take in the beauty around me and know that this is what God has wanted for me all along. For my heart to return to Him so He can give me the peace and comfort that I need, fill the empty spot that's been there for so long. And through all these thoughts, I look to my right and see one of the most amazing men I've ever had the pleasure and privilege of knowing, and I see how he is trying, too, to get his life back to where he's happy. And that somehow, some way, I've been able to help with that. I can't help but smile. I can't help but to know that from here on out, life is looking up. I've broken hearts that I wish didn't have to be broken, but I can only hope and pray that they will be better for it. I've broken promises that I should never have made. I've told lies where I should have been honest. But the beauty of having a past is the fact that you can learn from your mistakes and take care to not walk those paths again.
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