Visitor...VISITOR!

Its been a minute since I've been on this beloved blog of mine. The other one is on hold but will pick back up when I feel that my mind is settled in enough.

Anywho... Lots of changes! We got all moved into the new apartment and its beautiful. For me, it feels like home. Its comfortable, clean, mold-free, and we have space! As for work, Ruth still isn't back and I'm sure at one point or another the girls have wanted to impeach me, but such is life. Things are still running, the department is still standing, and things will be fine.

I can't help but hear the voice of the little mouse in Cinderella when I think of having a visitor. "Visitor, VISITOR!"... Chris's mom came to visit with us this weekend! I'm so happy she's here. Its nice having family around. She isn't my mom but still, its nice! At the moment, Chris is teaching her to play Super Mario Bros on the SNES. Its quite entertaining, to say the least. I picked her up from the airport this morning and she and I spent most of the day shopping at Walmart and napping on the couches while watching a couple movies. I introduced her to both The First Wives Club and Tangled. After Chris got off work at 6:30, we went to Red Robin for supper. Tomorrow, when I get off work we will be heading up to the mall to do some shopping and have some hang out time. I feel bad that she will be at the apartment by herself most of the next couple days but we couldn't take off work on such short notice. :(

In the World of Warcraft, things have gotten stale. The guild is dwindling and there are a few of us that are looking to move to a different server. One not so concerned with the raiding aspect of the game. If we are able to take the guild with us with a transfer service Blizzard is suppose to be working on, I think it will be a good move. However, my feeling of a part of me being over WoW as a whole is still there. I'd like to think that I have better things to do with my time and money than to sit in front of a computer playing with fictional characters all day but who knows.

I miss my mommy... and my mamaw... and my daddy... and my best friend... and my puppy... and... yeah. :(

Hot Summer Nights...

Sometimes I miss Ohio more than others... this week has been trying to not cry over missing my dad and the state I grew up in. I'm still happy with where I am, but I'm homesick and not too proud to admit it.

I'm an Auntie!

Jackson Thomas Lockhart graced the world with his presence on July 6, 2011. 7 pounds 9 ounces and 21.5 inches long. Huge congrats to Ti and Jeremy!!

So many things...

When I look back on my life, I want to be able to say that I experienced it, lived it, not just lived in it. I want my children to be fearless... I want my husband to be passionate.. and I want me to be the kind of mother and grandmother that I grew up with. But most of all, I want what God made me to be.
I say that so often... that I want to be where He would have me and doing what He made me for. But a part of me is reluctant to let go and let God. I know it would be better... but I'm human. I want things to go my way. They hardly seem to, but eventually the end goal brings itself around.
I look at my life now and a part of me smiles while a part of me cries. I'm living in Oregon, 2400 miles from the majority of my family while sharing my life with the man I know beyond a shadow of a doubt God made for me. While a part of my mind screams at me that I should be back in Ohio with my Moma and Mamaw, the other part rejoices because I'm doing this. As much as it rains, it is a beautiful state with so much to see and do and experience. Yet for some reason we let money hold us back. The coast is an hour away.. just an hour. Yet we haven't been because of gas... and time. The mountains.. the parks... the wineries. I have been here almost a year and haven't seen any of those things. I know that the time will come that I get to, and that I just have to be patient... there's that word. Patience. Grr... But still... it will happen. *deep breath*

I feel drawn to write... a need to write... and it doesn't come out. I was listening to a Beyonce song... and it made me want to say those words in earnest. "I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time... I was here, I lived, I loved, I was here, I did, I've done..."

Info!

We found out today... that Chris's grandma is fine when it comes to flying! That means we can have the wedding in Ohio!!!!

Eventually...

I will be smaller...
I won't get so frustrated at work...
I will feel like I get to experience the world around me and not just live in it...
I will no longer have Ellis in my name...
I will quit worrying about that which I have no control over...
I will realize how others view me and see that it is different than how I view myself...
I will learn to love as God loves and see as He sees...

Eventually...

Slight Changes

So... due to recent discussions, Chris and I won't be getting married when Mom comes to visit. He would like to be more financially stable before we take on that endeavor and I can do nothing but support him in his decision. I refuse to rush him into something that he isn't ready for. So I will once again play the waiting game. It's worth it, I know. I just sometimes feel that I'm destined to have "Patience" as a middle name. I already have two of them, whats one more? I know God has a reason for all the things that happen, and that His plan and His timing are always perfect. And I know that there is something that I'm suppose to learn from all this waiting. Lord, please help to me to see what it is You have for me to learn. I know he loves me, and I know it will happen some day. And when it does, it will be perfect.

In other news, I have 3 days left working at the courtesy desk, then I will be off Saturday and Sunday, and then Monday I will be at work at 7am as Jewelry Coordinator. I'm both nervous and excited. It will be entirely different than anything I have ever done. I just pray that I will have the ability to do what I need to do in order to both perform my job and to attempt to bring peace into the department. There is a ton of drama, from what I've been told, that happens back there. I will have to make sure that I don't get sucked into it. I will have people under me for the first time really. When I worked at Hallmark, I was a keyholder, but that was just making sure that breaks were taken on time and that the drawers were counted and such. But this will be completely different... I know I've been put there for a reason, I just pray that I will be able to have the strength through God to do it.

Tonight's Tidbit

In good or bad times, on the mountain or in the valley, God is ALWAYS worthy of our praises. Our circumstances never change that.

Attitude of Gratitude

Again tonight on K-Love something caught my attention. We should all have an attitude of gratitude, and do all things in our lives, big or small, with a grateful heart. Just wanted to share...

Colossians 3:12-17

As I was coming home from work today I was listening to K-Love, a nation-wide Christian radio station and they were playing an excerpt from Zig Zigler. He was talking about forgiveness, and although I don't remember the verses he used exactly, I have the general passage. 

Colossians 3:12-17 (NIV)

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 ¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

After hearing him talk about it, and reading it for myself, it made me realize that this is the reason that Chris and I don't fight... or argue... or get frustrated with each other. We have enough forgiveness towards each other that the fighting doesn't come into play. We talk things out before it becomes an issue. I love that about him. Conclusions aren't jumped to with us, they are discovered together. Its different than anything I've ever known, and I must say I love it. 


However, it also made me realize that I need to be more like that in all aspects of my life. I thankfully expect God to forgive me when I mess up, yet I have problems some times having that same forgiveness for others. How is that fair? 

Lil' Cooperstown

Monday evening we were invited out to dinner with a couple from church. They took us to Lil' Cooperstown Bar & Pub here in town. Its a baseball themed place with a great atmosphere and even better food... Hopefully we'll get to eat a meal there when my loves come to visit! We had a really good time getting to know Linda and Sam, and were very thankful for the treat.

I found out today that I got the full time position. It scares me a little bit but God knows what He's doing. *deep breath*... At least now I know I'll be able to pay for mom's plane ticket!!

Yep

Its time for me to find a new job. I'm starting to hate and despise going to WalMart day after day... I'm gonna see what else I can find.

Different...

Today was the first time since moving here in October that I attended church without Chris at my side. It wasn't really a choice that was made, but in taking the job that he found (yes, he is working again!) he has to work on Sunday mornings. I'm still on my closings so he attends by himself to "God Talk" on Wednesday nights and I will be going on Sunday mornings. Not ideal, but it is what we can do for now.

This morning I was talking to one of the older woman that attend regularly who just got married for the second time this past Thursday evening. She was married to her first husband for 54 and a half years before he passed away and she has now known her current husband for 6 weeks. Her words on this? "We're old! We don't know how much time we have left, so we figured why waste it?!" Haha, this made me smile. She went on to tell me that since she has met him, she feels like she is 15 again. I was sitting behind them in the sanctuary and couldn't help but grin to see them standing there holding hands while worshiping together. And I smile even bigger because that is what Chris and I do now, and something that I love. When praying, singing, or just taking in the sermon, there are very few times that he doesn't reach over and take my hand. I know that he is beside me no matter the circumstance, and that he always will be. I am truly blessed to have found him and know that he is the one God created just for me.

Now, about his job. He went to Express Professionals on Tuesday of last week and they placed him starting last Thursday at The Allison. Its a 5-Star Resort and Spa that is here in Newberg, and also the same place that Jasmine works as a house keeper. They are paying him $10.00 an hour and he is getting 40 hours a week. The work is hard and physical, he's a dish washer. Its taking him some time to get used to the fast pace but his body is slowly adjusting. A downfall of working at the resort, however, is that he was forced to shave his goatee. His face is so bare, and we're both sad about it. But, we know he'll be able to grow it back someday!

I have been craving Chinese food for weeks now, so today I am trying a homemade version of sweet and sour chicken. I made some white rice, bought a jar of sauce, and am using chicken nuggets. Its not the best ever, but its tasty...

Say a little prayer, if you would. I was interview at work for a FT position as a jewelry coordinator. It would be a step up in pay and better hours, not to mention it would be opening for the most part so I would actually be able to see Chris again instead of just "Good morning" and "Good night." I take him lunch every day that I can so we can spend about 15 minutes together then, but its just not enough. The position, however, would be a lot more physical than what I do now, and would also be over a couple of the associates that are back there now. It would be a completely new experience but out of the 16 people that put in for it, I was 1 of only 4 that were interviewed. So if its God's will that I get moved into it, I ask that He gives me the strength, clarity, and ability to do so.

Love you all!

Can you see me...

...as an Air Force wife?

What have I been doing?

There are days when I look around me and wonder just what I have been doing with my life. I see all these people that I went to high school with that are a year or two older or younger even and they are buying houses, and starting careers. And sometimes it makes me take a step back and wonder where I went wrong. I know God's timing is always perfect... and that He knew each step I would take before I took it. And I know that the path I have taken as gotten me to where I am now. I have an amazing man by my side that I know was made to be my perfect match. I just can't help but to feel ... I dunno... almost lost at times. I work at Walmart. I dropped out of college because of a relationship. I have a bit of debt and nothing to show for it, even if it is getting paid off slowly. I will be turning 26 this year, I'm not married, I have no kids, I have no savings whatsoever to even think about getting a house. *deep breath* I miss my Moma and my Mamaw and the rest of my family who are all 2400 miles away, but I'm happy right now for the most part. I can't see myself ever being without Chris and he couldn't handle living in Ohio unless he had to. And honestly I don't know that I could move back to Ohio any time soon even if he was gung ho about it. But I know I just have to keep my head up and keep moving forward and relying on God and His timing and His will for me and to know that it isn't in my control. It never has been... As long as I follow Him, it will all be ok.

On another note, I am down to 276.4 as of this morning. 321-276.4= 44.6!!!! *doesalittledance*

Things to ponder

There has been quite a bit going on that is just starting to come into light. At work, a lot of people have been getting hired... and people getting fired for dumb reasons. Just yesterday we lost one of our long time Courtesy Desk associates. No one is really sure exactly what happened, but its a curiosity to say the least. We think it was because she gave back $100 too much to a customer, but she would have had to had a coaching within the last year in order for that to call for termination. One of our other girls was saying that anything over $50 counts double... but I did the same thing and only got my first verbal. So who knows. I suppose only time will tell.

Chris is still looking for a job. He has been in contact with Farmers Insurance about a possible position but I have a funny feeling about it. I just pray that God keeps His hand on it and will open the doors He wants Chris to go through. We have also been quite lazy on Sundays and have been missing church, a habit we need to break. I always feel so much more lifted through the week when we have gotten up on sunday mornings and spent time with our church family. This weekend, it starts. No more options, or over sleeping. We will go... and go and go and go. *nodnod*

There has also been some talk about a bigger step. No, he hasn't asked me yet, he wants to ask dad first. But we have been talking about options. Both of us being close to our families, we can't decide on a place to have a wedding. If we do it in Ohio... it would only be my family that would most likely be able to attend. But if we do it in California, only his family would be present. So we think we have come to an alternative that includes the people that would absolutely kill me if I got married without them present... perhaps a court house and such. And then having receptions in both locations. Nothing is set in stone... but its been in conversation. He asked last night if I thought we should rush it. I've never been more sure about anything in my life, so in my opinion, nothing would be rushed, just done. But I suppose we will see what happens.

Bills have been hitting hard the last couple of months. It seems like there is something new to add around every corner, and I'm not sure how we are going to handle them. As long as Chris's taxes are deposited on the 15th, things will be paid, it will just be a matter of being able to eat. His best friend is in the process of loaning us a bit to help get through, but the bank is jacking him around so that hasn't happened yet. But I know God is a big God and has His hand on it and that His timing is always perfect. *deep breath* Please pray.

Updates and Enchiladas

Lots of stuff has gone on... but then again nothing of note, really. We did have an amazing time yesterday having Cookie and Maranda visit. They brought enchiladas and brownies. I told Cookie I need the recipe. I had never had enchiladas before but I apparently like them. They were warm and filled with red peppers and black olives and cheese and meat and sauce... Yummmm.

I'm officially down to 281.4. That makes 40 pounds total that I have lost since Feb. of 2010 when I moved home and started losing. I'm so ready to be out of the 280's tho. I know it's coming, and soon. !! :)

As you might have been able to tell, Chris's grandpa passed away on April 2. He took it hard but is holding up well. He was a great man and will be missed very much.

I... I don't know what else to add at the moment. Hmm... Oh well.

In Loving Memory

R.I.P. Raymond Keiderling
April 2, 2011

A Pillowcase full of warms!

As per my usual the last few months, I  had my Friday and Saturday off once again. These days are normally when I do laundry, dishes, the weeks that I get paid we go grocery shopping. This week was no different... and as always I had my partner in crime right with me for every step. And honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. As of March 11, 2011 I can officially call Chris my "boyfriend." And yet when I say that, it seems so childish at times. I have yet to figure why I feel this way about the term, however I do have an idea. Chris is my best friend, and that man that I honestly believe that God has had for me all this time, my soul mate. So to call him my "boyfriend" just seems as if its an understatement... a misnomer. But nonetheless I am happy that the world now knows that we are together. He always goes shopping with me without complaint. He walks with me, pushes the cart, follows me up and down the aisles, helps carry the bags, and shows me love the entire time. He's always reaching for my hand, or kissing my cheek, hugging on me... I can't remember a time grocery shopping that I was ever so relaxed and actually enjoying myself. He laughs at me because he thinks its cute when I ogle kitchen appliances and cooking gadgets.  So when we get back to the apartment and before we get out of the car, he smiles and tells me that he's thankful to be reminded of how blessed he is to have me in his life. And my heart melts all over again. How I love that man.

So that was yesterday. Today it was laundry day. Mind you the apartment complex we live in has about 150 people, possibly 200 with all the kids and such. A few of the units have washers and dryers in them, however most do not. Our laundry facility has 3 of each. Just 3 washers and 3 dryers. So its oh so much fun to do laundry on a Saturday. Three hours later its all finished, yet come to find out, it isn't all completely dry. Oh goody, because of course there is a TON of room in the apartment to hang things. Ha. But still, I am blessed to have a man that can always make me laugh no matter the situation. As we're taking the laundry out of the one dryer that was open for us to use, I decided to put it all into a pillow case. I hand it to him to hold on to and he hugs it, smiles big, and says "Sarah! I found the warms!! A whole pillow case full of them!!" and I can't help but to smile. Our room is typically chilly so we joke about keeping "the warms" under the covers so they don't escape. Even now, thinking back I can't help but smile at it. Hehe.

Customer service pet peeves...

There are a few things that drive me crazy working customer service. Here is a short list.

Leaning over the counter to see exactly what I am doing.

Feeling the need to show me on the reciept as I am trying to do what I am doing. I really can find it myself...

Standing 3 inches from the person in front of you when you don't know them. I could almost guarantee they don't like your breath on their neck.

When I ask is there anything wrong with the item, I don't require your life story, family history, or intimate details. Nor do I need you to take it out of the package and give me a tour of every stitch ans seam.

Please don't stand there and mumble about how pissed you are or how ridiculous a policy is. Truth be told, I don't care and it isn't worth my job to change the rules based on your opinion.

And when you are using a pen...please hand it back the way it was given. Do not feel the need to replace the cap or retract it.

Thank you.